{"id":22797,"date":"2022-05-21T08:42:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-21T12:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/autosector.com\/?p=22797"},"modified":"2022-05-21T08:42:00","modified_gmt":"2022-05-21T12:42:00","slug":"awesomely-weird-alibaba-electric-vehicle-of-the-week-ride-on-full-sized-stuffed-animals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/autosector.com\/?p=22797","title":{"rendered":"Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week: Ride-on full-sized stuffed animals"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll admit it \u2013 things have gotten pretty weird and wild in this column in the past. But while vehicles like electric submarines<\/a>, backyard trains<\/a>, and party buses shaped like tigers<\/a> all have a certain indescribable charm to them, this week\u2019s electric vehicle stretches the limits of what you could reasonably call \u201ca vehicle.\u201d<\/p>\n

But then again, that\u2019s what we\u2019re here for. It just wouldn\u2019t be the Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week<\/a> if it wasn\u2019t both awesome and weird. And while I know I may never get a Pulitzer for this thankless work, it\u2019s enough to know that people out there are at least scratching their heads and going, \u201cWell, huh.\u201d So buckle up because this one is going to be a wild ride.<\/p>\n

Not wild in the traditional sense, mind you. These plush rideables aren\u2019t a particularly high power class of vehicle.<\/p>\n

A 100-watt electric motor, tiny wheels, and a top speed of approximately 5 km\/h (3 mph) is not the stuff of champions, that\u2019s for sure. But the stuffing<\/em>? That we can find here in droves.<\/p>\n

These oversized plush animals are filled to the brim with a combination of stuffing, batteries, and cheap wiring. It\u2019s like they packaged the fire triangle in fun new wrapping.<\/p>\n

That sounds like a recipe for success right there. It\u2019s not as if we\u2019re putting the most vulnerable members of society on these things\u2026<\/p>\n

And of course, the wild faces on the front of these motorized monstrosities don\u2019t help matters either. Imagine being a two-year-old preparing to ride one of these at the fair, then turning around to see this beast bearing down on you. The nose of a pig, the ears of a dog, the smile of a crazed hyena, and the bloodshot eyes of a washed-up anime character that\u2019s seen too much. That\u2019s nightmare fuel, right there.<\/p>\n

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I guess I should at least be happy that the things roll instead of gallop. They\u2019re slightly more approachable in this shopping-cart-with-fur setup and perhaps even slightly more maneuverable too.<\/p>\n

In fact, they seem to handle surprisingly well. The whole front end (upper body?) pivots when the rider (hostage?) turns the handlebars, giving a tight little turning radius.<\/p>\n

Amazingly, the furry Ferrari even has a reverse mode, and it makes quick work of wiggling around in tight spaces.<\/p>\n

The dang thing even handles uneven terrain quite admirably, at least for a powered stuffed animal. Check it out in the video below!<\/p>\n

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You\u2019ve heard of Segway polo, right? Well, what if we had the trappings of a totally new sport on our hands here? For just $100 to $350 a piece<\/a>, we could outfit an entire league for the cost of a single Segway!<\/p>\n

Or perhaps we could get an oversized beach ball and play motorized furry soccer on these things.<\/p>\n

What about bumper cars? Demolition derby? Cavalry paintball charge? Evel Knievel\u2013style bus jumps? If you find one with singed fur, it may or may not be from the ring of fire stunt that didn\u2019t quite go as planned.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it\u2019s time to rent out the local go-cart track and run our own Furry 500. I know what I\u2019m doing for my next birthday party!<\/p>\n

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Imagine the next furry convention in your town when everyone rolls up on their own motorized stuffed animals! Each one could come with its own persona!<\/p>\n

Admittedly, I planned to dive a lot deeper into that aspect, but I just couldn\u2019t make it far enough through the Furry article on Wikipedia during my research for this article. There are some things you simply can\u2019t unlearn, folks.<\/p>\n

Suffice it to say that while these glorified kids\u2019 toys may be nightmare fuel at the local amusement park, I think they have an entirely new outlook on life in the adult world.<\/p>\n

At least if they don\u2019t catch on fire first.<\/p>\n

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